The Compassionate Friends is a group of bereaved families offering friendship and support to each other following the death of a child of any age.

The international self-help organisation has a group in Kiama which meets monthly.

The bereaved parents support network opened a Kiama Chapter last year to provide friendship, understanding and support to grieving parents, siblings and grandparents. 

The Kiama Chapter is co-run by Kiama’s Denise Adams, a member of The Compassionate Friends many years ago after her daughter Peta died. 

Compassionate Friends NSW will also host a one-day seminar on Saturday, November 5 from 9am-4pm at the Anglican Church Hall, Kiama. 

The seminar is for bereaved parents, siblings and their families.

It will feature keynote speakers and workshops. 

“It’s really to bring awareness of the group and the organisation to the community, and also to create a nurturing, safe space for anyone who’s lost a child, whether they’re members or not,” Mrs Adams said. 

Twenty-one years on from her daughter’s death, Mrs Adams said it wasn’t a case of time healing all wounds. 

“The group is for anyone who’s lost a child, regardless of that child’s age or the length of bereavement,” she said.

“Some people may have lost a child 30-40 years ago, but it’s still something that it’s a big hole in your heart.

“It is a comfort to be together, because you can just be yourself, and you’re not frightened that you’re going to upset someone, or make someone uncomfortable because we’ve all been there, and we all understand.”

Mrs Adams said although it was vital to have someone to talk to, because many people didn’t know what to say to someone who’s child had died, they tended to give them space. 

This created a “conspiracy of silence”.

Shellharbour Village resident Sally Oldroyd is a member of the group, having lost her son Troy two years ago. 

“People think, ‘oh, I won’t mention your child’s name because that’s going to upset you’,” she said.

“That’s such a ridiculous thought, because your child is in your head constantly, every minute of every day.

“In fact, you want them mentioning your child’s name.

“Yes it might make you sad, but you want them to hear you talk about your child because you want… That your child is still thought of and remembered.”

Mrs Oldroyd said Compassionate Friends was “a group we don’t really want to belong to, but we are members out of necessity… And want of support and understanding”. 

Kiama Heights’ Janet Carrigan joined the group two-and-a-half years after the loss of son Scott.

“Like Denise and Sally, I needed to connect with people that had been through the same, and find some different strategies about how to deal with day-to-day life,” she said.

“It can be daunting to come along to the first meeting, but once people have been… The actual support, and the network that you develop there really help you to continue through your changed life circumstance, and feel a connection with other people.”

The seminar fee is $25, which includes lunch and morning/afternoon tea. 

Bookings are essential. To RSVP or for further information phone 0408 360 034 or 0423 133 686, or email neece_ad@yahoo.com.au

The Compassionate Friends is a non-religious, non-profit organisation.