Bereaved parents support network, The Compassionate Friends, will open a Kiama Chapter to provide friendship, understanding and support to grieving parents, siblings and grandparents. 

The Kiama Chapter will be run by Kiama’s Denise Adams, a member of The Compassionate Friends many years ago after her daughter Peta died. 

“In the initial stages of my grief the support of The Compassionate Friends was really helpful and I now want to give back by reinvigorating this kind of support in Kiama and the broader Illawarra region,” Mrs Adams said.  

Mrs Adams and her long-time friend, Judy Papesch from Jamberoo, have both lost a child and been invaluable support to each other.

Mrs Papesch’s son Simon died suddenly seven years ago, aged 24. 

Mrs Adams said although it was vital to have someone to talk to, because many people didn’t know what to say to someone who’s child had died, they tended to give them space. 

This created a ‘‘conspiracy of silence’’.

‘‘It’s very hard; instead of saying the wrong thing, they think it’s best to say nothing,’’ she said.

‘‘(It helps) to talk to someone who really knows what it’s like.’’

Mrs Papesch said it wasn’t a case of time healing all wounds.

‘‘The missing-ness becomes more intense the longer time goes on,’’ she said.

‘‘You never really get over it - you just learn to live with it.’’

Compassionate Friends NSW President Jenny Wandl said the group was not afraid to talk about what it was like to lose a child.

“Hundreds of bereaved parents around NSW volunteer with us, they receive training and use their own grief to help others who have lost a child to suicide, accident or disease,'' Ms Wandl said. 

The Compassionate Friends is part of a worldwide self-help organisation, aiming to assist bereaved families in their learning to live with their new reality after the death of a child.

The Compassionate Friends’ support groups are not about professionals running meetings or giving advice. 

“Our model of support is based on the belief that only parents who have experienced the trauma of losing a child can offer the sort of compassion and understanding needed,’’ Mrs Wandl said. 

There will be a public meeting to introduce the new chapter on Thursday, August 6 at 10am-12pm and 7pm-8.30pm, and every first Thursday after that date.

The Kiama support group will initially meet monthly at the the meeting room next to Ss Peter and Paul Church in Manning Street.  

The Compassionate Friends is a non-religious, non-profit organisation. 

For more information, phone Mrs Adams on 0408 360 034.