During National Palliative Care Week (May 24–30) Australians are encouraged to break a taboo and talk about their wishes for end of life care.

The theme is “dying to talk; talking about dying won’t kill you”. 

Kiama palliative care doctor Michael Barbato said a major misconception regarding palliative care is many just associated it with three things - death, hospice and morphine.

‘‘We’re more concerned about the way people wish to be cared for, physical comfort and all the other things that matter to them,’’ he said.

‘‘What type of lifesaving measures they would like enacted if they did develop a life-threatening complication, which people do they need to see to ensure a satisfactory closure?

‘‘Our job is to ensure as much physical comfort as possible, so whatever time they have left they can use fruitfully.’’

Dr Barbato has spent more than 25 years working in palliative care, and emphasised it is primarily about giving people the best quality of life and ultimately a peaceful and dignified death.

Dr Barbato said advanced care planning was not only for older residents, but is also relevant for young people, as they may be involved in a motor vehicle accident, for instance. 

He agreed that decisions regarding end-of-life care were often made in a reactive manner, not proactively, and urged family members and friends not to be afraid to talk about their care preferences , even if many were understandably afraid that doing so raised the ‘‘spectre of death’’. 

‘‘Certainly in my experience, because the people we’re caring for are actually approaching the end of life, most of those discussions have taken place.

‘‘But they tend to only take place, after a life-threatening illness which is obviously going to impair the quality of life, and their length of life has been made.

‘‘Friends and family will often talk about anything and everything other than that which is most important for the one who is unwell”.

‘‘And more often than not, the person who is sick and dying does want to talk about the real issues. Because they know they’re dying they want to get things off their chest, say goodbye, make sure their affairs are in order, make sure the people who are left behind are going to be cared for. 

‘‘Have the conversation so you can get on with life, otherwise it’s the proverbial elephant in the room.’’

 Assistant Minister for Health, Senator Fiona Nash recently launched a Social Media Guide for palliative care, explaining how to manage social media accounts in the event of a family member’s death. 

It highlights options such as memorialising a Facebook page, which means friends can continue to post on the page but no-one can access the account to make changes. 

Dr Barbato said when ‘‘the conversation’’ occurred, it would be focused on more serious and emotive issues.

‘‘Given this emphasis on social media, we may need to review the type of things that people should discuss when they’re making end of life plans.

‘‘My belief is that people who are going to worry about that are probably at a stage where they’re not even thinking about advanced care directives or advanced care planning.

‘‘Ultimately they will confront the real issues, but I don’t think social media accounts will ever become a life and death issue.’’