The high lunacy infecting Canberra's hall of mirrors, where largish numbers of government MPs are currently afraid of their own reflections, could be detected in the rustic humour of Tony Windsor on Monday.
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Mr Windsor, who gives no impression of being afraid of much thanks to the luxury of independence in this era of dependence upon independents, was asked what Kevin Rudd might have to offer in exchange for his support.
''A red car with big wheels would be nice,'' he deadpanned.
With a lollipop as a steering wheel, presumably.
Kevin Rudd, as normal, wasn't enumerating his wish-list.
Everyone knows he's hoping for a sedan chair borne on the shoulders of enthusiastic supporters for a triumphant march back to his rightful throne in the prime minister's office.
His problem is a lack of the said enthusiastic supporters with shoulders broad enough. His most vocal supporter in recent days has been a Sydney Labor MP, John Murphy. Mr Murphy's best-known contribution to the national political debate previously was his 2008 complaint about the cost of his wife's plate of beef stroganoff in the parliamentary cafeteria.
Meanwhile, the much ballyhooed theory that Victoria's Bill Shorten might be considering switching back to Mr Rudd struck something of a snag.
It was revealed that Mr Shorten's wife, Chloe Bryce, was president of the newly formed ginger group, Women for Gillard. Even powerbroking, you'd imagine, would lose its appeal in the face of potential domestic discord.
Ms Gillard remained in her prime ministerial chair, though she wasn't having a great day. Again.
Having woken to the latest Fairfax/Nielsen poll showing men were abandoning her faster than a red car with big wheels, Reader's Digest was storing up another small torment. The venerable Digest's annual survey of Australia's 100 Most Trusted People placed Ms Gillard at, oh dear, Number 95.
The good news was that this was ahead of her newfound radio buddy, Kyle Sandilands (96); colourful NSW kingmaker, Eddie Obeid (97), the alleged bearer of a celebrated credit card, Craig Thomson (98), defrocked speaker Peter Slipper (99) and troubled actor Matthew Newton (100).
The bad news for Ms Gillard was that Kevin Rudd bolted in ahead of her at number 70, and Opposition Leader Tony Abbott was number 75. Even Jolly Clive Palmer managed 80th, and shadow treasurer Joe Hockey pipped Mr Abbott at 74. Given even Malcolm Turnbull could manage only 68 out of 100, the survey hardly spoke well of politicians in general.
Indeed, it found Australians vastly preferred neurosurgeons (Charlie Teo, number 1), burns specialists (Dr Fiona Wood, 2) and immunologists (Ian Frazer, 3).
Forget red cars. The House needs a doctor or two.
