Family mourns their ‘ hero ’ dad

STUART McGregor felt he"d been blessed in life , a beautiful wife, two sons and in recent years a precious first grandchild.

The proud father had even written a song about it , the lyrics describing how he "had it all" with his wife of 22 years, Carol, and sons Jason, 22 and James, 21 by his side.

Kiama-born and raised, Stuart will be remembered for his passion for family life and in return as their "hero" at his funeral service in Shellharbour today.

A crowd of about 1000 is expected at Shellharbour"s St Paul"s Anglican Church to pay tribute to the well-known local builder.

The 43-year-old died in St George Hospital in the early hours of Friday morning as a result of massive head injuries sustained after he was thrown from his bike when the occupant of a parked van opened a door into his path on Shellharbour"s Boollwarroo Parade last Tuesday afternoon.

The former Kiama High School student and local rugby league player had been in training for his first triathlon when tragedy struck , leaving his loving family, parents Malcolm and Lorraine and siblings Deborah, Malcolm and Randall, devastated.

With brain scans revealing only one per cent of brain activity as a result of the accident, after a five-hour operation doctors told the family Stuart would never recover from his injuries.

"There was only a tiny bit of his nervous system left , it was very confusing , I kissed him on the lips and it felt as though he kissed me back, but the doctors said it was just his nervous system," said a distraught Carol from the family"s Shellharbour beachfront home.

"If we"d kept him alive he wouldn"t have known us, would never have been able to talk to us, to touch us&"

"Knowing the man that he was, he wouldn"t have wanted that."

Stuart and Carol met and married young, raised two handsome sons and 10 years ago bought a home overlooking the water. They had plans of one day building their dream home on the site , building plans that had been due to get under way in a matter of weeks.

"We got engaged on my 21st birthday," recalls Carol. "We were married about a year after we got together and had the kids straight away , when it"s right you just know.

"Even now we"d walk along the beach three or four times a week and hold hands the whole way , he was very romantic, you knew you were loved. And he was an amazing father."

Yet at the age of just 43, their dreams of the future are now in tatters as the family cling to the memories Stuart has left them with , as a wonderful father, supportive husband and soulmate, keen surfer and sportsman, lover of music and the first one to throw on a Santa suit for the neighbourhood kids every Christmas.

"Some people don"t put into a lifetime what he put into his life and his family in the time he had with us," Carol said.

"He would always say to us, "We"re family, all we need is each other".

"And every phone call would end with the words "love ya". The last time I saw him was when we pulled up alongside each other at the traffic lights on the day of the accident and he rang me while we looked across at each other and said, "love ya".

Carol says it was always important to Stuart that the bond between his family members was strong, but in the past six days that bond has had to bear the greatest of all strains.

Twenty-one-year-old son "Jimmy" flew home from a working holiday in Canada to be at his father"s hospital bedside, with 22-year-old Jason making the trip from Canberra to join their mother in making the devastating decision to turn off Stuart"s ventilator support late on Thursday.

For the family"s youngest member, two-year-old granddaughter Maisie, while the events of the past week will not be fully understood for many years she, too, has shown signs that the family has lost its "hero".

"The connection they had was unbelievable , she would walk into the house and yell out, "Hello Poppy". Never Nanny, only ever Poppy," Carol said.

In the days since Stuart"s death, his "little girl" has thumbed through family photo albums, touching each photo of her adored Poppy.

"She just rubs her fingers on his face and then turns to the next page," Carol said.

"But she doesn"t call out for him when she comes here now , it breaks your heart.

"I"m just going to miss him & being next to me, because he always was.

"He was everyone"s hero , he always made sure we were all okay.

"We both always said we couldn"t have a life without each other & but I guess we have to now."

The funeral service will be held at St Paul"s Anglican Church in Town St, Shellharbour, today at 11am.