Bayonetta

Bayonetta
Platform – PS3, X360
Distributor – SEGA
Genre – 3rd Person Action
Rated – MA 15+

Fast fluent moves and simple to pull off impressive looking combos make this game a pleasure to play. On top of this the imaginative and beautifully artistic character and boss design, diverse environments and crisp graphics makes excellent eye candy for both observers and player alike.

Bayonetta herself exudes sex appeal in a tough talking bespectacled librarian kind of way and with her English accent, tall stature, seductive lollipop sucking and serpent like movement, she gives Lara Croft a run for her money in the computer game babe stakes. With different weapons to use on all four limbs you take out enemies gracefully with acrobatic twisting and turning like a lethal version of Swan Lake. Effortlessly dispensing of evil looking Angelic creatures (yes this is meant to be contradictory), that are kind of like a mish mash of Egyptian and Greek mythology with a bit of Michelangelo visuals thrown in for good measure.

There is good diversity in the moves department and apart from the two button combos there are also quicktime events and easy to pull off special moves. The Torture attacks are bizarre but good fun with things like making a spiked cupboard or guillotine magically appear to dispose of enemies for no reason other than you are a witch and because you can. As strange as it sounds her hair actually makes up her tight leather looking outfit and it unravels to form giant creatures that help out in climax moments, making it good fun to see the different demon like creatures take over for a moment. To break up the 3rd person fighting you also get to ride on the back of a missile, motorbike and ride the waves on a surfboard for brief periods.

The story is slowly pieced together through Bayonetta getting her memory back, But honestly you will have so much fun with the action that you won’t care too much about the story anyway, Transformers 2 anyone? You get the general gist of it though, something to do with the Umbra witches, the Lumar Sages, two eyes, Inferno (Hell), the Human World and Paradiso (Heaven). But really all you need to know is you must battle heavens divine creatures so you don’t get your ass dragged back to Inferno.

Just in case you forget the pretty butterflies when you land, the lipstick reticule over the targeted enemy and the butterfly wings remind you with every move that you are playing a girl. There were a couple of bonus things that I thought were a nice touch and that is the way you could practice your moves and combos while you were waiting for the game to load the next level. The other was the Angel Arcade shooting mini game that you play in between levels using bullets you have collected. A decent fun game all up, but there's no multiplayer.

All I know is that if heavens creatures really look like this then what does Hells look like, I don’t want to go to either thanks I will stay in limbo as long as all the girls there look like Bayonetta, mmmm lollypops. Also thank you T for helping out with the game and explaining the story line when I was completely baffled
– Maceman